Sitting down to a meal that you haven't prepared and not having to worry about cleaning up and doing the dishes is such a pleasure. A topic near and dear to my heart as a parent of a profoundly nonverbal, autistic young man is being able to eat in a restaurant that isn't a fast food joint. Dining out with an unpredictable teenager can be a real adventure, and finding the right restaurants where we can all feel comfortable is like discovering a pot of gold. Join me as I share my experiences and insights into creating a positive dining-out experience for our kids and ourselves.
The Quest for the Perfect Dining Spot
Finding a restaurant that welcomes our potentially unpredictable autistic kids with open arms is no small feat. It's not about expecting them to be calm and composed throughout the entire meal; it's about creating an atmosphere where we feel like we belong, where our kids can be themselves, and where we can
enjoy a meal without judgment.
The Unpredictability Factor
Baby boy is gorgeous, but let's face it: our teenagers aren't cute little bundles anymore. My guy is a towering 6'2" and built like a linebacker. While he's well-behaved most of the time, there's always that 10% chance that all hell might break loose. It's a part of life with autism, and we understand that. What we're searching for are places that understand it, too.
Kindness Goes a Long Way
In my experience, most people are incredibly kind and empathetic when they see our situation. They quickly realize that this isn't just a kid throwing a tantrum; it's a family navigating the unique challenges of autism. But it's not just about the patrons; it's also about the restaurant's ambiance, the lighting, the sensory elements like TVs and loud music, and the times when it's less crowded.
What to Look for in Autism-Friendly Restaurants
What makes a restaurant autism-friendly? It's not always straightforward, but over the years, I've learned to spot the signs and create a checklist:
1. A Welcoming Vibe: As soon as you walk in, you want to feel like you belong. The atmosphere should be warm, inviting, and not overly formal. 2. Understanding Waitstaff: Seek out restaurants with understanding, friendly, patient, and empathetic and patient staff. Those who don't ruffle easily and are willing to accommodate special requests can make all the difference. 3. No Judgment Zone: An autism-friendly establishment should be a judgment-free zone. No disapproving glances, no hushed whispers—just a place where families can relax and enjoy a meal together. 4. Sensory Considerations: Pay attention to the sensory environment. Is the lighting soft and comfortable? Are there overwhelming distractions like blaring TVs and loud music? Autistic kids often benefit from a calm, sensory-friendly setting. 5. Crowd Control: Try to visit during off-peak hours when it's less crowded. This reduces the sensory overload and eases potential anxiety for your child. 6. Outdoor Seating: Choose restaurants with outdoor seating options. Being in an open-air environment can help reduce sensory overload and provide more space for your child to move around if needed.
Our Role in Autism Awareness
Dining out with our autistic kids isn't just about meeting our family's needs; it's also an opportunity to raise awareness about autism. We contribute to greater understanding and acceptance by being visible in public spaces. We're doing our part to show the world that our children deserve to be part of the community, just like everyone else.
The Impact on Development
It's crucial for our kids' development to have these dining experiences. They learn valuable social skills, practice communication, and become more accustomed to different environments. It's also a chance for them to explore new tastes and textures, which can be particularly beneficial for children with sensory sensitivities.
Our Sanity Matters Too
As parents, we also need to consider our well-being. Getting out of the house and enjoying a meal in a welcoming environment can be a lifeline for our sanity. It's a chance to recharge, connect with our families, and feel part of the world outside our homes.
My Top Picks for Autism-Friendly Dining
Over the years, I've discovered some hidden gems that tick all the boxes for an autism-friendly dining experience, and I hope you'll find them as welcoming as we have:
1. Cozy Cafés: Seek out local coffee shops and cafés. They often have a relaxed vibe, comfortable seating, and aren't overly crowded. Plus, the coffee is usually a hit with parents! 2. Family-Friendly Restaurants: Chains like Applebee's, Olive Garden, and Red Robin are often accommodating to families. They usually have diverse menus, a casual atmosphere, and staff used to serving families with kids.
3. Diners: Classic diners are a fantastic option. They're typically low-key, offer comfort food that kids love, and have that nostalgic feel that can put everyone at ease.
4. Outdoor Dining: If the weather permits, consider outdoor patio dining. It provides a change of scenery and often fewer sensory distractions. 5. Local Eateries: Explore your local restaurant scene. You might find some treasures that prioritize hospitality and customer comfort over trends.
Making the Most of Dining Out
Once you've found the perfect spot, here are some tips for making the most of your dining experience:
1. Call Ahead: If you need clarification on a restaurant's autism-friendliness, call them in advance. Ask about their lighting, noise level, and staff training. 2. Communication: Let the staff know about your child's needs and preferences. They are often willing to accommodate special requests. 3. Preparation: Bring comfort items like headphones, fidget toys, or a tablet to keep your child engaged and relaxed. 4. Social Stories: Consider using social stories to prepare your child for the dining experience, explaining what to expect and how to behave. 5. Practice Dining Out: If your child is new to dining out, start with shorter outings and gradually extend the duration. This can help build their comfort level. 6. Patience: Be patient with yourself and your child. There may be challenging moments, but they are all part of the learning experience. 7. Be Prepared to Leave: A meltdown may occur despite our best efforts. Have an exit strategy in place, and remember, it's okay to leave if the situation becomes overwhelming. 8. Celebrate Small Wins: Celebrate every successful dining experience, no matter how small. It's a journey, and progress should be acknowledged and celebrated.
Dining out with autistic teens can be an enriching experience for both our kids and ourselves. We create opportunities for growth, development, and connection by seeking out autism-friendly restaurants and coffee shops. We're not just enjoying a meal; we're making a statement about the importance of inclusion and understanding. So, let's keep exploring, advocating, and dining out with our incredible kids. It's a journey worth embarking on. Cheers to our families and to autism awareness! Happy dining, and remember, you're doing an amazing job! 🍽️💙
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