Turning 17 is a milestone in any teenager's life, and as a parent, it's a moment that fills you with pride and a touch of nostalgia. My son, P, is about to celebrate his 17th birthday, and I can't help but wonder where all those years have gone. P is a unique individual, and his journey through life, especially when it comes to socializing, has been different from what society might consider "typical." As a parent, I've learned to embrace his uniqueness and celebrate his birthday in a way that suits him best - Autism style.
The Social Challenge
P is a remarkable young man with autism. Over the years, I've tried various ways to help him connect with other kids, from sports activities to meetups and playdates. While content to be around his peers, he doesn't show much interest in interacting or socializing with them. This lack of interest in conventional socializing has presented a unique challenge when it comes to celebrating his birthday.
The Sensory Overload Dilemma
Traditional birthday parties, whether at home or at places like laser tag or trampoline parks, are the go-to options for most families. However, I've learned the hard way that these fun-filled activities can lead to sensory overload for P and sometimes for me, too! (Lol, and that's just his mother!) I've realized that we need to approach birthday celebrations differently, taking P's sensory sensitivities into account.
The Importance of Celebrating
Despite the challenges, I refuse to let P's birthday go unnoticed. Every birthday is a momentous occasion to celebrate his life and the joy he brings to our family. So, here's how we celebrate a birthday, Autism style.
School Celebrations
One place where P does feel like part of a group of peers is school. To make his birthday special, I prepare treats, games, and party favors for him to share with his classmates and teachers. P loves watching videos of people singing "Happy Birthday" to him, so we record his classmates and teachers singing the birthday song on his iPad. It's a heartwarming moment for him to cherish.
Low-Key Home Celebration
At home, we keep things very low-key. P is most comfortable with his father, sister, and myself. If we have more people around, he tends to retreat to the sofa and wrap himself in his blanket or escape to his bedroom until the "interlopers" have left. For food, I order his favorite Indian takeout because it's all about making him happy on his special day. The cake is mainly a vessel for sticking a candle in; the real star of the dessert show is ice cream. Of course, we record all the singing for the birthday boy to enjoy later, adding to his ever-growing library of cherished moments.
Gift Giving
Finding the perfect gift for P has always been a challenge. Sensory toys and attention-capturing gadgets have been attempted over the years, but his go-to favorite is invariably his iPad. Thank goodness for YouTube, where he can explore his interests to his heart's content. Candy is always a hit, and I also try to find a fun game he can bring to school to share with his classmates. Games like Kerplunk, Connect4, and Perfection have been the most successful in capturing his attention, even if only for a few minutes.
Celebrating a birthday in a non-traditional way can be both a challenge and a reward. While it can be difficult at times to see other families celebrating birthdays in a more typical manner, it's essential to remember that every child is unique. As parents, we know our children best and understand what works for our families.
In the case of celebrating a birthday, Autism style it's about creating an atmosphere that accommodates sensory sensitivities, respects personal boundaries, and cherishes the individuality of our loved ones on the autism spectrum. P's birthday celebrations may not fit the mold of a typical party, but they are perfect for him, and that's what truly matters. So, whether your birthday celebrations are traditional or uniquely tailored, remember to embrace what works best for your family and, above all, celebrate the joy and love your child brings into your life. You do you, and that's what makes your family's celebrations truly special.
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